Saturday, October 9, 2010

The Holder of Wealth

In a town, in a lush country, you may find a lonely gas station. When you reach the counter, ask to visit someone called "The Holder of Wealth." The worker will raise one eyebrow, as if puzzled by your request. Ask a second time, and the worker will shrug and take you across the street, where an opulent mansion awaits. This mansion was not there when you started your quest, but it's best that you not preoccupy yourself with the mansion's origin. Its owner would rather not scare you away.

Inside the front door will lie a grand staircase, spiraling up across the foyer. The walls will be covered with fine paintings, and a large marble statue will rest on a pedestal by the base of the stairs. The statue's eldritch features will evoke an image of a truly horrific beast, at once both alien and evil. Admire it all you want, but don't touch it, unless you wish to awaken this starved monster.

Ascend the staircase. As long as you touch nothing, you will be in no danger. Don't panic. At the top of the stairs will be a small, unassuming wooden door. It will open for you, so long as you are not afraid.

You should see a man with a pointed goatee and short, cropped, gelled hair standing behind a large desk of what will appear to be mahogany. His suit will appear to be made of both human flesh and Italian silk. He may speak, and at great length. He will talk about his amazingly beautiful house and the lovely statue of his concubine resting downstairs. Do not interrupt him, and do not answer any questions he may ask. When he is finished, steel yourself and confidently ask, "May I have my salary?"

He will proceed to explain to you, in great detail, the value of life. He will talk of things worse than death, and he will tell you exactly what he expects you to do. The fabulous interior of the room will rot away, and the floor will turn from French weave to feces. His own appearance will become unimaginably cyclopean and horrendous. He will then fish out a small bank note from the inside of his human suit and hand it to you.

That note is Object 8 of 538. Its Holder is counting on you to spend it.

46 comments:

  1. I lol every time i see your cats pic!

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  2. Creepy cat and creepy story, I like it.

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  3. @ jeanjean

    + 1, lol. Glad I'm not the only one.

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  4. i lol'd at your cat pic. also i think i read this somewhere...

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  5. Guys, come on, leave the cat out of this.

    And I really like your surrealist style. Keep it up.

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  6. @ jeanjean: batman cat is hilarious

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  7. love these stories they are epic!

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  8. Man that cat makes me laugh all the time xD

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  9. Oh here I am again, thanks for your comment yesterday!

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  10. I just got done with my GTL session this morning, and I was amused by your post

    keep up the solid work!

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  11. nice post indeed and i lol'd at ur cat everytime so far too :P

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  12. that cat is ready for Halloween i tell yeah, lol

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  13. good job here!

    you just inspired more bubbles on "Enhanced by MS Paint"... check it out!

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  14. this post made me open my eyes and stop squinting!

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  15. you've got a great point on this one

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  16. wow, your post is over the top this time

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  17. Great update. I have read it more than once

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  18. i wonder how much is the money that the holder will give.

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